Wheeljack and Ratchet

I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots. What a day, Wheeljack and Ratchet were at it again today.

I found them in the Autobot lab fighting over a hydrospanner. They were practically slapping each other, I tell you.

"Aw come on, Optimus," Wheeljack said. "I really need the hydrospanner for my top secret Dinobot project."

"A top secret Dinobot Project, eh Wheeljack?" I replied. "That sounds very interesting. What is it?"

"What? Dinobot project?" he answered. "I didn't say anything about a top secret Dinobot project. Besides, it's top secret."

"Very well, you two are going to have to work this out," I said.

"But Prime," Ratchet whined. "He keeps taking the tools when I'm trying to work here and he never puts them back."

Unbelievable. Even little totbots are programmed with better sharing processes.

"Fine, then I shall choose how you two will share it," I concluded. "Wheeljack, you will get the hydrospanner on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Ratchet, you get it on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays."

Ratchet groaned and Wheeljack managed to sputter "What about Sundays?"

"On Sundays, I'll give the hydrospanner to Ironhide and he can do with it whatever he wants."

"What?" Wheeljack sputtered again.

"But he'll break it!" Ratchet added. "He's got back-end damages in his linkages."

"That is my decision," I crossed my arms. "Unless you two can think of a better way."

"We'll share it!" Wheeljack quickly said.

"Yeah, no problem," Ratchet added.

I tell you, it takes all my wisdom to lead this bunch. All of my wisdom and a lot of patience.

Bumblebee

I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots and let me tell you, being the leader of this group isn't as easy as it looks. Take Bumblebee, for instance. Bumblebee's a nice guy and all, but it seems like he's always there and always underfoot. Do you remember that old Warner Brothers cartoon where the little dog Chester was always hopping around the bigger dog Spike and trying to be his friend and all?

Bumblebee is kind of like Chester.

So we get the alert from Teletrann I that the Decepticons are attacking a hydroelectric dam in an attempt to steal the energy and I give the command for all the Autobots to transform and roll out. We get there and the first person to jump into action was, you guessed it, Bumblebee. He tried tackling Soundwave, who easily kicked him back at us.

I felt really bad for the poor Autobot and so I ordered him to go protect that kid in the yellow helmet and boots. I thought that Bumblebee might be mad that I was keeping him away from the fighting, but he just smiled, saluted, and said "You got it, Optimus." Now I have Bumblebee and some Earth kid hanging around underfoot all the time.

I am Optimus Prime.

I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots. We have been on Earth since our ship the Ark crashed here so long ago. As leader of the Autobots, I am a very busy being, but my comrade Autobot Jazz suggested that I take up this "blog" in order to understand human culture a little better.

"Hey Prime," Autobot Jazz said. "Why don't you start a blog. It's all the rage, man!"

Originally, I was skeptical. Esspecially when Autobot Jazz suggested the title for the blog be "Prime Time." Prime time, as you all surely know, is the block of television programming when the audience levels for viewing are at their highest.

"Aw, no way, Prime," my brave Autobot companion assured me. "The name totally rocks, man. The kids'll dig it!"

Despite my misgivings, I did always want to keep a journal of our adventures. That and maybe post a few recipes. So perhaps this will be a good experience for me.

After that, Autobot Jazz showed me some more of Earth's culture in the form of a musical group called a "rock band."

"They're called Cold Slither. Don't they totally rock, Prime?"

Perhaps I will just stick with the blog.