Thursday, May 8, 2008

Called before the Supreme Court

I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, and since my declaration as Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator’s choice as vice president as he runs for president of the United States, I have been called before the Supreme Court in Washington DC.

“The Supreme Court?” Ironhide asked. “What’s that?”

I quickly explained the three branches of government and separation of power.


“Oh, I get it now,” he replied. “So there’s legislative, executive, and judicial just like we have transformation circuits, transformation cogs, and transformation linkages. Separate but equal.”


“Yes,” I nodded. “Something like that.”

“The president is in the Executive Branch, does that mean the vice president is as in the executive branch as well, Prime?”

“Of course, old friend,” I replied. “Even if the current vice president will not admit to it, it’s right there in the constitution.”

“Interesting,” Ironhide replied.

“I need to go testify as to my status as a citizen of the United States,” I said. “My only problem is that I do not consider myself much of a lawyer. As an Autobot, I prefer my battles in front of me; I certainly do not wish to stab somebody from behind as lawyers stereotypically do.”

All of the Autobots nodded in agreement.

“If I may, Optimus.” Perceptor stepped forward.

“What is it, Perceptor, old friend?”

“Perhaps there is one of us here who has the intelligence necessary to be your legal counsel.”

“Of course,” I agreed. Perceptor is our Autobot scientist. He must be smart as he transforms into a microscope. “You would be welcome to speak on my behalf.”

“Oh no, I wasn’t talking about me,” he insisted. “I was talking about Sky Lynx.”

“Sky Lynx, eh?” I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. “Well he certainly thinks he’s smart.”

“Yeah, he thinks he’s all that,” Autobot Jazz added.

“The only problem with this plan is that I send Sky Lynx out into space to check out Sector 7G.” Sometimes I send the more annoying Autobots on missions that are far away, just so I can get a brief reprieve. For instance, I just sent Bumble Bee to the Andes Mountains to scout for any Decepticons in that area. “We’ll have to send a message to Sky Lynx that I require his assistance and perhaps with a little Energon and a lot of luck, we’ll make it through this after all. Aubtobots, transform and roll for Washington DC!”